You will know instinctively if he is into you. Trust me, I have pursued men and it never works! The best that you can do is to send out signals and see how he responds. As women, we tend to make men and relationships super important, but guys don’t act the same way, unless they are head over heels or obsessed with you as some kind of fantasy. If he made a date for Thursday, he should have gotten back to you by Wednesday at the latest! And you should NOT have still been available for him last minute on Thursday! However, by the same token, I think it’s great that you did call him, and “call him out” so to speak, forcing his hand, because he did lead you to believe that something was there. He thought you were attractive and cool, he had a good time, but he never went out of his way for you. As you stated, he hung around with you for a few months and it “never got serious” that is because he was NEVER INTO YOU in the first place. I’m sorry but….this guy was not into you. Do you know what to do? If not, read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This. Here is another big problem most will face: He seems to be losing interest, withdrawing, or going cold. Do you know how a man decides a woman is girlfriend or wife material? Do you know what inspires a man to want to commit? If not, you need to read this article next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman There is one defining moment in every relationship that determines if it will last, or if you will be left heartbroken, At some point, he will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to? The answer will determine whether the relationship deepens or ends. I hope this article helped you better understand why a guy sometimes won’t call. Or I would have continued to pine for my ex, tenaciously clinging to the notion that it’s impossible to find, and keep, a decent guy in this city where everyone always seems to be on the prowl for the next best thing. Had I never called J, I probably would have spent many more months wallowing in self-pity thinking that there was something about me that just wasn’t good enough, at least in his eyes. I also learned that a little bit of confidence and courage can go a long way when it comes to getting what you want. For one, it taught me not to take things so personally and not to think the worst of myself because some guy didn’t call.
The reason I felt compelled to share this story is that it taught me a lot. And just because something started out going in one direction it doesn’t mean you can’t take control and reroute. Feelings are complicated, I mean you can be totally hot for someone one minute and totally turned off the next. He was definitely into me the night we met, then after he wasn’t into me, but then my calling him sent him back to being into me, the point is, it’s never cut and dry. Maybe he was drunker than I thought and was afraid he had his beer goggles on? Maybe he was just looking to get laid that night and didn’t feel the need to continue to pursue me when that didn’t happen? Maybe he just wasn’t that into me at first but my boldness, and subsequent cool-ness about the whole thing changed his mind? (According to the guy friends I’ve spoken to, these theories are the most likely.) So why didn’t he call me after we first met? And why did he act like such an ass when I called him, only to change his tune 5 minutes later? I gave these questions quite a bit of thought. We dated for a few months, it never got serious, but I did have fun and I truly enjoyed the time we spent together. There was no doubt in my mind that I’d be hearing from him again and I was right. By 7 pm I had two choices: resign myself to the fact that he isn’t into me, or do something I had never, ever done before- call him.ĭeducing that I had nothing to lose, I decided to go with the latter because he was cute and funny and he gave me butterflies in my stomach which no one had done since my ex and I had been incapable of feeling anything for anyone after my ex and now I finally had feelings again and feelings don’t come around every day so I wasn’t gonna let this go so easily. Then Thursday came around and still no word.
I wasn’t expecting a call on Monday or Tuesday because of the ‘rules’ and all that, but by Wednesday night I started to feel a little panicked. We exchanged numbers, kissed, said our goodbyes, and I left feeling quite pleased with myself, knowing that I had played my cards right. Our afternoon of fun turned into a night out and me, my friend, J, and his friend bar-hopped, talked, laughed, danced, and played pool until the wee hours.īefore heading home, J and I planned a date for that Thursday. He was cute, charming, and we seriously hit it off right away.
I met up with a friend one Saturday afternoon at a bar for a football game.
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